I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
