Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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