i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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