And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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