I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
