Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize