And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
