WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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