idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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