Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
