week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize