My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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