Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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