Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
