i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
