I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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