when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
