my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
