DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
