You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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