Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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