What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize