Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
We need to get me chipped asap
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
