Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
