if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
