Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
