I accidentally burped into my bong.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
ok first of all what the fuck
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
