I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize