"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
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