That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Pooping to opera.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
