I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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