My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
i think my cat just said my name.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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