i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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