here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
