Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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