If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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