I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize