She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
