You're my little dorito
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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