I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
