he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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