Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize