my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
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