Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
