I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
