ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
