He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
