what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
