So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
We had sex on a dog bed..
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
