Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Did I show you my penis last night?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
