What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
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