Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
