been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
