Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
