i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
