Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
