fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
