I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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