The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
