anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
